Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

I turned 35 today. Another trip around the sun.

 

It was a good day. A really productive one. Besides cracking out some intense work, I still managed to finish the last few errands on my list, had supper with the family, birthday cake (plus sing song) for dessert and now I’m settling in about 15 minutes before lockdown becomes our new reality for next 21 days… at least.

 

It was a special day, yet still pretty strange as far as the 34 other birthdays have gone.

 

A couple of nights ago, I watched World War Z for the 3rd time as my refresher for what’s about to happen. World War Z is one of my favourites. I’m not a fan of horrors, but this zombie movie I’d re-watch no problem.

 

 

I still remember seeing World War Z in cinema back in 2013. Those fucking zombies sprinting flat out gave me the creeps. It was pretty intense, felt so real and somehow pretty plausible. I got home and immediately started researching the background of the movie. That’s when I  discovered Max Brooks. The movie was based on one of his novels with the same title… But it was the title of another one of his books that caught my eye – The Zombie Survival Guide.

 

We’ve been given hints of the upcoming zombie apocalypse in movies for years now – we just haven’t been listening. After a few pages of The Zombie Survival Guide, I was converted. You can laugh all you want, but when the dead rise I’ll be surviving while y’all get your asses chowed by crazy sprinting zombies.

 

“Survival is the key word to remember—not victory, not conquest, just survival”

~ Max Brooks, The Zombie Survival Guide

 

I’m proud to call myself a Prepper.

 

For years I’ve had a bug-out bag in my car, had at least a months supply of toilet paper (that’s right suckers!), long-life milk, tooth paste, deodorant, shower gel, portable first aid kit ready and stocked, learnt how to get comfortable sleeping anywhere, living off as little as possible, I can read maps, build fires, and studied watched hours of Ultimate Survival with Bear Grylls.

 

I can also comfortably run trail on gnarly terrain. Why is this important, you may ask? Well, it’s because a zombie can only go as fast as the body it inhabits and most people don’t run trail. So when the shit hits the fan, I’ll be heading up that mountain to a spot I’ve earmarked for a situation just like this. I have water and can survive.

 

Run my bru!

 

So here we are living through our own Zombie Apocalypse, except it’s not the Solanum Virus… it’s Covid-19.

 

People going mad trying to buy all the toilet paper in Cape Town, while I’m upset that I couldn’t get my last Bin Rashied Garlic Chita for my birthday because the local store had to close early. Uuuuuuuurgh

 

21 days of lockdown. As Max Brooks said in the quote above – it’s all about survival. We have to lay low, don’t draw attention to ourselves and just survive on our rations until help comes or we are forced to move from our shelter.

 

In all seriousness, it’s dangerous out there.

 

Everyone is a suspect. You can’t see the virus coming and only know 10 days later whether you are a confirmed case. It’s unnerving. Also, why is my throat suddenly feeling itchy while I write this?!? Damn allergies

 

The lockdown is going to be tough on everyone. We are all going to be making sacrifices in this fight against the unseen. There are those losing their income, jobs will be at risk, all while health care and essential services are out there on the front-lines making sure we are fed, kept safe and treated. There will be very few unscathed winners in this fight.

 

My biggest challenge isn’t going to be missing out on runs in the mountains. As a divorced parent, rather it’s going to be how best I deal with not seeing my daughter during this time. Right now I can’t even imagine it and as much as I try to be brave and think video calls will help – nothing will ever compare to a hug and smelling the top of her head.

 

But such is the nature of the enemy. It affects everyone. No matter the class, race, religion or age. We will all be affected.

 

However, I believe that together we can do this. What’s most important is that you take care of yourself, be strong for your family and loved ones, and lead. Now more than ever we need leaders.

 

About 60 million to be exact.

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